Dominic’s Story: Part 4

**Before you read I do feel it’s necessary to put a warning. If you are sensitive, fearful, or easily triggered by traumatic pregnancy and birth stories please do not continue. It is not graphic in nature but I do share my personal story that some might be upset by.

Dominic’s Story: Part 4

No one has a baby and expects to walk out of the hospital with a shattered heart and empty arms. But that’s exactly what I did. Thinking about the whoosh of the automatic doors opening as I left Vancouver Women’s Hospital without my son still brings tears to my eyes. The sleepless nights I spent curled up on the nursery room floor, heaving with soundless sobs. Mountainous medical bills just kept coming. And the looks. The looks of family and friends who, even though hurting for you, would never truly know the depth of that kind of loss.

I could easily spend the entirety of this post depicting the gut-wrenching turmoil that followed the loss of Dominic. But here’s the thing. I don’t want to remember my son like that. I want to remember him as a beautiful gift from God. Yes, I would move mountains to have him here with me, but I wouldn’t, not even for a moment, change his story and the story that God has created from our tragedy.

Because of Dominic, I raise my family to know and serve the Lord. Not just when it’s good or easy or beneficial. But when it hurts. When it’s hard. When it requires you to walk through the fire and back. And in doing so, God has shown his faithfulness. His love. His goodness. And his sovereignty. He has shown me that when I hand over my hurt, the ashes of this broken life, He can and will create a masterpiece. A masterpiece carefully woven with miracles and blessings.

I have never loved and served the Lord as I do now. And I don’t know if I could say that if I hadn’t lost Dominic. I am raising my three beautiful daughters to know and serve the Lord. And again, I don’t know If I could say that if I hadn’t lost Dominic. Much like the Israelites, when they cried out for miracle after miracle while wandering the desert…how soon after the miracle did they forget the Lord? I did not get the miracle I prayed so fervently for. But God in his goodness crafted a different miracle. An eternal miracle. Salvation. Salvation for me. Salvation for my husband. And salvation for my family. And that, my friends, will forever be worth walking through the fire for.

I long for the day I see Dominic again in heaven. To wrap my arms around him. To hold him close and breathe him in. I long to tell him all about his sisters and how, on March 1st,  we get McDonald’s and sing him happy birthday every single year. That while he was not physically present with us, he was always held tightly in our hearts. But most of all, I want to look into those brown eyes again and say thank you. For in his short life, he forever changed mine.

A black and white photo of a family of three little girls.
Our three daughters who we are raising to know and love the Lord.

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  1. As I was reading part 3 my eyes were starting to tear up and a tear or two fell down my face. You wrote this so beautifully. I don’t know you personally but have followed you for a few years on Instagram. What you went through would have been so hard. I love seeing that you have 3 beautiful girls. I’ve experienced a loss in between having my 2 girls (nothing that compares to yours) but I plan to have another and may just end up with 3 girls as well ❤️<3

    1. Thank you for taking the time to read Shauntay. I can’t tell you how it fills my momma heart. Girls are God’s giggles on Earth.

      1. I came across your IG admiring your cakes , I came to the video of your girls making a cake for Domic’s birthday and It led me here. I love how you interpret your experience in relation to your coming to know Christ and raising your 3 daughters to know Christ. Your life is a testimony Katie. You are a blessing. I thank God for your life. May God continue to use you as a vessel to win more souls into the kingdom. God bless you and your family x

        1. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment Ana. God has been so incredibly faithful through it all.

  2. I’ve so cherished getting a glimpse into your family. THANKYOU for sharing the journey of love, pain, loss and hope. It was a privilege to read.

  3. Happiest birthday Dominic. He must be the proudest angel in heaven watching how amazing his family on earth is. You are an inspiration Katie. Holding you in my heart today.

  4. Katie. What a powerful, heart wrenching and yet a so beautifuly written story. He was a masterpiece, your son. And so are you. I love you.

    1. Oh Tammy, thank you for reading. It touches my momma’s heart to know that my son is known.

  5. Thank you for sharing your story of Dominic. What a beautiful and eloquent story. I am very sorry for your loss. But I am so Thankful for the way you gave him to God and are able to celebrate Little Dominic each year knowing that you will see Dominic again when the Lord calls us home.
    I myself have had the worst last 5 years. I sometimes forget that God only gives us what we can handle and some of us our strong enough to make our way through this hard life we have been given and some are not so he calls them home earlier then we sometimes want..YOU are strong and strong in the Lord. You inspire me and remind me to thank our heavenly Father for his healing hands.
    You three little girls and husband are so lucky to have you. Keep up sharing you help people everyday with your story. God loves you. THANK YOU. Prayers and hugs.

    1. Thank you for reading and your thoughts and prayers Stephanie. I think life gives us more than we can handle and God allows it because it causes us to rely on Him. When life and situations are more than what we can endure on our own power, that’s when God (when we allow Him) to step in and be glorified.

  6. Thank you for sharing Dominic’s story. God is so good. I have been reflecting on gratitude recently and seeing God’s goodness in all circumstances. Walking through this life while on your knees is not easy, but God makes a way. Every trial, every heartbreak, every time I wonder why, Jesus is always there to provide peace, hope, love, joy and light in the darkness. I needed that reminder today.

    May God continue to bless your family. ❤

    1. Gosh, so much yes to that Sharon. Jesus is always there with peace and hope for the taking.

  7. This is so beautifully written. All four parts bought tears to my eyes. Thank you Lord for the gift of Dominic and thank you Lord for Katie and her strength.

  8. Katie, as a mother, I cannot fathom this loss. My whole heart is with you today, especially. Sending you love ❤️

  9. Katie, I am so sorry that you and your husband went through this. Thank you for sharing Dominic’s story; it was an honour to read about him. I love that your family has a tradition each 1 March for Dominic’s birthday. It’s really lovely that his sisters have grown up knowing all about Dominic and celebrating him with you and your husband. I saw the cake they decorated for this year, and it was awesome. Sending you lots of love.

    1. Thank you Becky. Decorating his cake each year with the girls brings me so much joy even in the midst of the hurt you know.

  10. Out of the ashes we rise. Through your pain, God brought beauty. Your story is so moving. Continue to rest on, Dominic.

  11. My Dearest Katie, when I went on your website all I was looking for was a GF/DF lemon cake recipe. After I was finished looking, I decided to click on your story about your Precious Dominic! I started crying in part 1 and am still crying now as I type this to you. On February 17, 1970 I was caring my 2nd child, feeling good, no problems with my pregnancy, but was relieved when my labor started.
    After a long hard labor my Precious baby girl was still born. They tried putting me to sleep, but I said if my baby was ok I wanted to hear it cry! A cry I never heard. Back then I wasn’t allowed to hold her let alone see her. The doctor sent me home a few hours later and told me to forget about it!!! I was in a daze for weeks. My Mom and Grandma was there to comfort me and my daughter, my 1st child, was only 3 at the time, so she was to little to know what was happening. But she would come up and give me a big hug when she saw me crying. I was raised in the church and believed that God would someday reveal to me why he chose to take my sweet Deborah Lynn so soon. And He did, several years later I heard about a lady that lived not to far from me that had lost a child the same way. I was compelled to reach out to her, to hug her and say, “I feel your pain” and pray with her. I have done this many times since, knowing that that was God’s plan for me ….to help others. The Lord blessed me two other babies, 2 boys. I have been so Blessed! My three children had three children each, so I have nine grandchildren and just became a Great Grandma, this past February and having another one scheduled in September. But it still feels like yesterday, that 17th of February, 1970 and like you I long for the day that will see and hold my baby. I do know I wouldn’t be who I am, today, if I didn’t have the Lord by my side everyday! So thank you for blessing me with your heart-felt story of your Dominic and the picture of you, your husband and your three beautiful girls! God Bless!

    1. I cannot imagine never holding a child in my arms. Oh how my heart breaks for you Mary. Thank you for sharing yuor story with me. God is beautifully and wonderfully faithful, isn’t He?!

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